


Hi. I'm New Here.

by PumpkinDoodles



Series: Taserbones Tumblr Prompts & Tiny (Adorkable) Fics [48]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: And Boob Beanies, Darcy Cannot Pick A Baby Name, F/M, Feelings, Mutual Pining, Rumlow is all broody, TripleAgent!Rumlow, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26687233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinDoodles/pseuds/PumpkinDoodles
Summary: Darcy Lewis is very, very pregnant.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow
Series: Taserbones Tumblr Prompts & Tiny (Adorkable) Fics [48]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1484168
Comments: 98
Kudos: 503





	1. Overdue

**Author's Note:**

> *I own nothing!
> 
> Anon requested: I dont if you do prompts but can you do one where Darcy is a new mom and brock brings Darcy and her newborn cute things to try to get her to like him? Bonus if strike gets pictures of him holding the baby

* * *

“Ugh,” Darcy said, sitting down heavily in the lab. She’d taken her third trip to the bathroom in the last two hours. 

“What’s wrong?” Jane said, alarmed. She was very concerned about Darcy these days. It was kinda fun, Darcy thought. She grinned.

“I’m about to pop out this baby, Janeybug,” she said. Darcy was already thirty-nine weeks along. Her back hurt like crazy and the baby seemed lower than she’d been last week. She propped up her feet on a second chair. Her ankles were swollen. “Why did I have to be one of those swollen, puffy pregnant ladies instead of glowy and yoga magazine preggo?” Darcy mused.

“I’m very concerned about your level of edema,” Jane said, more seriously. 

“True,” Darcy said lightly. “It’s really not cute.”

“Be serious,” Jane scolded.

“Never,” Darcy said. “I refuse to be Serious Mom. Cereal Mom, maybe. This kid is definitely going to get planted in front of the television with Scooby Doo and Capt ‘n Crunch on Saturdays, once she’s old enough.” Darcy giggled at Jane’s horrified expression.

“What about her enrichment?” Jane said.

“Who says that’s not enrichment?” Darcy said jokingly. “I still remember the Rainbow Brite theme song.” She sang a bit of it. Jane winced. She was trying to stay fun--fun and calm. Darcy was raising this baby alone. Ian, her on and off again boyfriend, had dumped her and moved back to England about two weeks before she discovered she was pregnant. His response to the news had been lukewarm. Darcy had seen a lawyer and was debating whether or not to dangle “no child support” in exchange for his parental rights--she couldn’t decide whether it would hurt the baby or if she’d lose her entire mind if Ian popped up later, suddenly wanting to get involved. What if he wanted the baby to be Church of England and go to boarding school? Terrifying thought. For sure, nobody but really rich snobs did that, ri-- 

“Darcy?” Jane said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Darcy lied. “Do you want coffee? I could go downstairs and get you coffee and me a smoothie?” She’d conned Jane into thinking strawberry smoothies were the healthy alternative to coffee. 

“I’ll go with you,” Jane said. “You know you could go into labor anytime.” Jane’s voice was anxious.

“Please,” Darcy said. “This is my child. She is not going to miss out on in-utero vacay time.”

They were in line at the coffee shop--Jane was carrying Darcy’s hospital bag; she never let it out of her sight--when three of the STRIKE Alpha team came in. Commander Rumlow was on his cell phone and hung back, but the other agents with him spoke. “Hullo,” Jack Rollins said, cheerful despite his resting bitch face. He was Australian; the chill voice and the scary face were kind of jarring together. Jen Hernandez, the other agent with him, was much less intimidating, but Darcy had heard she’d been mentored by Natasha Romanoff and was not to be underestimated. People talked like she was great at hand-to-hand combat. Darcy thought she and Rumlow might be a couple. They seemed to be together a lot.

“Hi,” Jane and Darcy said at the same time. Agent Hernandez smiled at Darcy.

“Wow,” she said. “You’re really--”

“Super pregnant?” Darcy said. “Big as a house?” 

“No,” Hernandez said, clearly embarrassed, “far along! I meant far along! I haven’t seen you in a while and--”

“You’ve stepped in it, Jen,” Rollins cracked. “Give up while you’re ahead.” Darcy was laughing when she felt a sudden, sharp pain. 

“Ohhh,” she said involuntarily swaying and doubling over. Across the room, she saw Rumlow hang up his phone. Jane was holding one elbow and Hernandez had grabbed the other.

“Are you okay, darl?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” Darcy said. “Just a lot of back pain all of a sudden. Don’t freak out,” she told Jane. “It’s not a true contraction until it’s like...uh…” She’d forgotten the time. “They’re so far apart or whatever. That’s probably totally different.”

“Yeah,” Jane said. Her eyes were huge. 

“I should probably look that up,” Darcy admitted. 

“I’ll do it,” Jen said, taking out her phone.

“Everything okay?” Rumlow said. He was grimacing. He didn’t seem like a baby guy, she thought.

“Yes!” Darcy said brightly. “It’s probably nothing.”

Of course, it was something. About six minutes later, Darcy found herself being led to a SHIELD vehicle as she swore vividly. “Oh, oh, _damn,_ ” she muttered, clinging to Rollins and Rumlow with white knuckles. She could hardly make real sentences, the spasms were so sharp. She’d had to stop twice and they’d held her upright.

“I’m calling her doctor!” Jane said.

“How far apart are they?” Rumlow barked and for a second Darcy wanted to elbow him vindictively. How would she know?!

“Two minutes, boss!” Hernandez said. That was when she realized he’d asked Hernandez and decided not to kill Rumlow later.

“We’ll get you to a hospital, love,” Rollins said.

* * *

One epidural, eight hours of labor, and one baby girl later, Darcy woke up groggily in her hospital room. She’d fallen asleep while Jane held the baby for a minute. It had been her and Jane during the delivery. She’d gone into labor so quickly that her mom had still been en route to DC when they talked. Darcy turned her head and expected to see Jane in the chair. To her surprise, it was Rumlow sprawled next to her. He was holding her baby and smiling. Darcy had never seen him smile like that. “Hey,” she said.

“Hi,” he said, beaming at her. “You feel okay? You need a nurse or something?” 

“I think I’m okay,” Darcy said, sitting up. “This is the first time I’ve had a baby, though.” She reached her hands out and he handed the baby to her carefully.

“Yeah,” Rumlow said. “Jane went to pick your mom up from the airport.” He gazed at the baby raptly. She gurgled.

“Great. Jane really swaddled her,” Darcy said, looking at the neatly tucked blanket.

“I, uh, did that,” he said. “My, uh, sister has kids.”

“Oh,” Darcy said. “Well, you’ll have to show me how to do that.”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Of course.” He smiled. 

“I can’t even decide on a name,” Darcy confessed. “I have a list in my bag, but I thought seeing her in person might help me decide.” 

“You want the list?” he said, automatically reaching for the bag. 

“Sure,” Darcy said. He passed it to her and she sat it on the edge of the hospital bed. “I don’t think you look like a Catherine,” she told the baby. She looked at Rumlow. “It’s a family name.”

“My sister went with family names, too,” he said, smiling gently.

“Jane votes for Jane, of course,” Darcy said. “I think it’ll be a middle name. What are your sister’s kids’ names?”

“Isabella and Marco,” he said.

“Those are nice,” Darcy said, enviously. “Really nice. Like fun and pretty and cool, but also easy to pronounce. I need fun, but spell-able.” Rumlow laughed. “Well, you don’t want the baby to always have to spell their name wherever they go! It’s work,” Darcy insisted. He was smiling at her now. “Isabella and Marco,” she repeated. She felt a little jealous of Rumlow’s sister, wherever she was. 

“I, uh, brought you some stuff,” he said, getting a shopping bag she didn’t recognize. “Some, uh, onesies. Socks, stuff like that.”

“Oh my God,” Darcy said. “That’s so nice of you.” Very carefully, he showed her each of the impossibly tiny onesies and bitty socks. By the time she’d looked at one fluffy sock and a “Hi. I’m New Here” onesie, she actually wanted to cry. “Oh my God,” she repeated, voice more weepy.

“What’s wrong?” he said, alarmed.

“They’re just so freaking cute,” Darcy said, wiping at her eye. “It’s probably the hormones and I apologize in advance, but I really, really love you right now.” She laugh-cried. He looked at her and grinned slowly. “Like, seriously, you’re always gonna be this guy who was nice to my child, post-delivery now. Would you like to petition for a future kidney or something?” Darcy offered.

“Uhhh, no,” Rumlow said. He was still smiling, thank God. “I don’t want your kidney.”

“Nobody wants kidneys,” Darcy said, grinning and babbling, “they just suddenly need one in an emergency. You have a high-risk job, you should hang on to that offer.”

“Okay,” he said. “Lemme” --he reached for the names’ list--“talk to you about names?”

“Oh gosh, yes. I don’t know if I need to have picked one before they let me leave with her,” Darcy said. 

“I think they have to let you leave,” he said.

“Good,” she said.

“If they give you any problems,” he said slowly, “Foster and I will handle it.” His face had gone serious.

“Oh,” she said. “Thank you.” He looked at the list. His eyebrows went up. “What?” Darcy said. She knew her list had some doozies.

“Esmeralda?” he said.

“Ohhhh,” Darcy said, laughing. “Yeah. That’s mostly to troll Jane. I kept telling her the baby would be Esmeralda Jane. Also, Esmeralda is my favorite Squishmallow.”

“Your favorite what?” Rumlow said.

“My favorite squishy plush,” Darcy said. “I have a tiny collection. I already bought the baby one. A penguin.”

“Yeah,” he said, corners of his mouth turning up. “That makes sense.” He cleared his throat and looked at the list. “Eloise?”

“Also trolling Jane, but slightly less unrealistic,” Darcy admitted. 

“I like Mia,” he said. 

“That is nice,” Darcy said. 

“Flora?” he said.

“Another family name,” Darcy said. “I thought maybe I could bring it back but Flora Jane sounds too much like a dental disease.” He cracked up then.

“Lilly?” he said. 

“Oh, that’s one of my favorite Pink Martini songs,” Darcy said, “from _Hang On Little Tomato_.” She looked at the baby. “Lilly Jane,” she repeated. “Lilly, Lilly,” she singsonged. The baby gurgled happily. Rumlow smiled at her.

“Hang on little tomato?” he said. 

“It’s a great album,” she said. “Which SHIELD totally stole off my iPod in New Mexico, by the way.” She mock-glared at him. He held his hands up, grinning.

“I was not involved in that decision, sweetheart,” Rumlow said. 

“Mmm-hmm,” Darcy said. “You’re probably here to swipe my phone or something. What’s your ulterior motive, commander?” She beamed at him. 

“No, uh, attempts on your phone,” Rumlow insisted. “I swear.”

“Sure,” Darcy said. “So, we’ll move up Lilly and Mia. What else did I put on there?”

“Natalie,” Rumlow said. “Romanoff will like that one.” He smiled. 

“What?” Darcy said.

“Audrey,” he said.

“Oh,” Darcy said. “Audrey. That’s a good one. My pregnancy brain was working that day.”


	2. A Guy, A Mom, and A Mall Food Court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I own nothing! Qveenoftherodeo requested a fic where Darcy's a new single mom who breastfeeds and a protective Brock chews out someone for giving her a hard time about it in public and I realized this AU was the perfect setting for it, complete with mutual pining and FEELINGS. Also, she mentioned Boob Beanies and you need to Google those ASAP. They're adorable!

“Darcy?” a voice said, a moment after Darcy had sunk down into a chair with a sigh. She turned. It was Brock Rumlow. She was momentarily startled. He looked so out of place in this mall food court.

“Hi,” she said, shifting Audrey’s stroller and smiling at the SHIELD Commander. 

“She’s asleep?” he asked, looking down at the baby.

“She loves being driven in the car and pushed in the stroller, so…” Darcy said. She yawned. “Sorry,” she said, feeling sheepish. “The weather has been so cold, this was the best place I could think of to bring her on a Saturday. I didn’t expect to see you, though. Please, sit.” She gestured to the chair opposite. 

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. He pulled the chair out without making noise. “I was, uh, doing some shopping,” he said, making an odd face. He sat a little bag on the table. It was a see-through bag for one of the department stores, Darcy realized. Inside, she recognized the black and white Chanel bottle. He was buying a gift for someone. Some lucky woman, she thought, a little wistfully. Darcy liked Brock Rumlow. She might’ve developed a teensy crush between her delivery day and him teaching her how to swaddle. She blamed the pregnancy hormones. Also, he always asked about Audrey or stopped by the lab to see her. And let Darcy babble about crazy mom things. Whether peas or carrots were the baby’s favorite, Audrey’s nap schedule, the _Babywise_ book she’d read. Rumlow had even sent her leads about good daycare programs without Darcy asking. He really was wonderful, she thought. She smiled at him. “You holding up okay?” he said.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m _exhausted,”_ she told him. “I can’t have regular coffee while I’m breastfeeding, just decaf, and it’s rough. But I really appreciate your help with the daycare. They’re really nice there.”

“Good,” he said. “Jane still mad?”

“She’s holding a grudge,” Darcy admitted. Darcy had kept Audrey in the lab until Jane embarked on a series of portal experiments; she’d wanted Audrey to be safe, but Jane was a little grumpy at being deprived of 8-5 aunthood. Brock laughed, then looked over. There was a Starbucks some twenty feet to her left. Darcy followed his gaze and stared at it longingly. 

“You had your allotted decaf for the day?” he asked. 

  
  


He’d gotten up to get her a decaf latte when Audrey stirred. “Hey, sweetie. Are you hungry?” Darcy said, lifting her out of the stroller before she could get really fussy. She tended to wake up hungry. Audrey gurgled as Darcy unbuttoned her plaid shirt, adjusted her nursing tank, and then got the baby to latch on without much difficulty. “Awesome,” Darcy said out loud, rubbing Audrey’s back. The worst was when her maternity clothes got twisted, Audrey cried, and she felt super conspicuous in public, trying to juggle the baby and the snaps on her cami. She just hoped Brock wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, breastfeeding made people act weird. She’d be disappointed if he was weird, she realized, as someone walking by stared for just a beat too long. Darcy glared at him. “Perv,” she muttered. 

“Decaf vanilla latte,” Brock said, appearing at her elbow. He sat down a cup. “You okay?” he added.

“Yes,” Darcy said. “And Goddess bless you, Brock Rumlow.” That made him laugh. He sat down in the chair again.

“Tell me about things,” he said. She was taking tiny, careful sips of decaf as Audrey nursed and mom-babbling about stuff when someone startled her. 

“That is disgusting,” a middle-aged woman said, glaring at Darcy. “Breasts out in public.” She said it loud enough for Darcy to hear. Normally, she could’ve laughed it off and shot the woman the bird. But Darcy was tired. So tired that her first physical response was freezing and wanting to cry. She blinked. 

“Hey,” Brock said suddenly, “you!” He pointed at the woman. “If you’ve got a problem with how my friend feeds her baby, you dipshit, you can take it up with me.” He actually stood up and took a step towards the woman. “And we can talk about what happens to people harassing mothers in public.”

“Brock!” Darcy said, as he flashed his SHIELD badge. The woman started stammering out an apology. She looked like she was afraid he’d actually arrest her. 

“Get outta here,” he told the woman. She hurried off. He sat back down. “What the fuck is wrong with people?” he said, shaking his head.

“I cannot believe you just did that,” Darcy said, seesawing between gratitude and teariness. He looked at her.

“Are you crying? Fuck,” he said. His pissed off expression immediately turned to alarm. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Fuck.” He sounded panicky. 

“I’m okay,” Darcy said, wiping at her eyes. “It was just--that was really nice of you. You’re so _nice.”_ She tried to get control of her quavering voce.

“I’m not that nice,” he mumbled. He looked sheepish.

“Yes, you are,” she insisted. “You protected us from one of the boob police.” She smiled at him.

“That happen a lot?” he asked, frowning.

“Sometimes. Usually not that rudely, though,” she said. Darcy sighed. “I’m gonna troll them. I’ve got some Boob Beanies in my Etsy cart.”

“Some what?” Brock said.

“Knit caps for the baby that look like boobs,” she said, starting to laugh. “Nipples and everything.”

“This, I gotta Google,” he said, over her laughter. She smiled as he swiped his phone and watched his face when he saw one. “That’s great,” he said, beaming at her. 

“I know!” Darcy said, giggling.

“You two, uh, wanna spend the day with me?” he asked.

“I’d love that,” Darcy said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advanced apologies if I don't get the breastfeeding right, 'cause I've never breastfed. Also, some nursing clothes look *complicated.* Are they complicated? I'm just envisioning a tangle of top + bra + boob and then trying not to sweat and cuss in frustration. 


End file.
